“I don’t think you have time to waste not writing because you are afraid you won’t be good enough at it, and I don’t think you have time to waste on someone who does not respond to you with kindness and respect. You don’t want to spend your time around people who make you hold your breath. You can’t fill up when you’re holding your breath. And writing is about filling up, filling up when you are empty, letting images and ideas and smells run down like water — just as writing is also about dealing with the emptiness. The emptiness destroys enough writers without the help of some friend or spouse.” ~ Anne Lamott in bird by bird – Some Instructions on Writing and Life
I think I’ve been holding my breath for a while now. I have been doing a fair amount of doing but not a heck of a lot of seeing, or hearing, or sensing. This focus on filling my time with events and activities has stifled my capacity to reflect upon the very adventures I’ve enjoyed. It’s not necessarily a negative thing – this break from contemplation – but it certainly alters my way of seeing my world.
In my past I have wanted to document what I was thinking and seeing almost at the speed at which it was occurring, and because I couldn’t keep up, I recently stopped trying to catch any of it. I stopped letting my fingers move freely to transpose what I was thinking in my head and instead let them chronicle what I was seeing with my eyes. They became a recording device for my outside world, rather than a medium for releasing my inside world.
This level of recording is going to shift the way in which future anthropologists and paleontologists do their work. There is going to be so much SHIT that they will not be able to sift through. All of this information seems like it’s so important; worth keeping forever.
Perhaps the new methodology will be to seek out that which was not documented in order to find out what was most significant to our generation?